catch me if you can,

boy, do i love susie suh's music.

I don't even know just what I'd say
If you found your way back
Clearing all the cobwebs that we make
Wishing for you to stay

my feel-good autumn checklist:
pumpkin pie, check.
cranberry sauce and gravy on roasted-garlic mashed potatoes and white turkey meat, check.
turkey soup, turkey sandwiches, turkey on rice... check.
baked squash with cinnamon, check, check, and check.
tucking hands into pockets for warmth, check.
burrowing into a warm down-feather blanket cocoon against cold nights, check.
buttoning delightfully large buttons against a blustery day, check.
hiding in the pillows from rain torrents, thunder, and wind that makes the windows rattle, check.
pink noses and cheeks after coming indoors, check.
kicking leaves along main mall with my chucks, check.
wanting to dive into the giant, wet piles of school leaves, check.
zipping up/down the street to purposefully piss off the neighbours who don't realise it's futile to rake now, check.
midterm scramble, check.
sneaking early hallowe'en crunchie bars, check.
marvelling at red-gold-green-orange in the same tree, check.
sighing at a sea of red and gold from hill tops, check.
cozy-sweater and scarf outfits, check.
itching for mitten weather, check.


lonely crunchy forest walks, check.

I don't think it's ever too late
To cut the ties that bind us
to our lies

the four r's.

"re-evaluate, relax, retry, repeat."

maybe this is your first time out, too.
maybe we're both still learning.
maybe we can't fill in the gaps, and now the penalties are too high.
maybe this is me learning that i want someone who pushes back instead of pulls.

i just wish that we found one another as repeats.

157.

i wish you could have had some of my chocolate pudding cup.
i saved the best bites for you (the last).

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

go to sleep.
let this wash
all over me

tonight your ghost will ask my ghost.

who put these bodies between us?

"...people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right. you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself..."

sauce,

"Seems there's nothing i should fear
When everything now seems so clear

And I am finally here"

-roll.

p.s. how did the t-rex feel after he ate the pillow?
down in the mouth!